Barricades
by CSI-Mania-CG
Summary: Sara Sidle is teetering between life and death, and its impact on Grissom is evident when he fails to control his emotions both on and off the job. NEW! CHAPTER 23 NOW UP! DON'T FORGET TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK SO FAR! THANKS!
1. Remembrance

NOTE: I don't own this stuff, just story concept.

2400hrs.

When Sara made it home she was thoroughly exhausted. She had planned on taking a shower and turning in quickly with the expectation she'd be physically prepared for her special assignment that morning. Compliments of Conrad Ecklie, Sara was to accompany Grissom to Cielo County where together they would conduct a homicide investigation on behalf of the Cielo County local authorities. _It was a 4 hour drive_, Sara recalled Grissom saying, leaving her to have little doubt about who would be riding shotgun.

While removing her jacket, Sara navigated her way to the bedroom when she noticed shards of glass scattered across her dresser from a broken frame that housed a photograph. Like a knee jerk response, Sara un-holstered her side arm and visually scanned the room for additional irregularities before returning her attention on the broken picture frame. At half speed, she retrieved it, assessing the damage when, suddenly, she encountered a vivid recollection of the moment depicted in the photo.

_It was a cold day in San Francisco, circa 1999. The downtown convention center was buzzing with forensic specialist from all over the United States eagerly awaiting Gil Grissom, who had been invited as a guest speaker to discuss entomology and its link to forensics. As the event was getting underway, Sara was unavoidably late and, as a result, the auditorium (she discovered) was standing room only. After several unsuccessful attempts to peer over the shoulders of the many guests stationed at the front entrance, Sara deftly burrowed her way past the wall of people until she happened upon a pocket, amongst a cluster of onlookers, where she could view Grissom unobstructed._

After his seminar, Sara also recollected _two young women rushing the podium where Grissom stood, each attempting to vie for his attention. Before Sara could descend on the small party she had to push her way through the crowd of stragglers that remained. But after having made it through, Sara approached Grissom, extended her hand and introduced herself. _

_Ever since having read of the legendary Gil Grissom, Sara was intrigued. That was two months ago; and within that time, Grissom had become Sara's preoccupation which, at present, prompted her to take an increased devotion in circumventing the vacuous blonds from monopolizing the conversation further. _

_Sara interjected, frequently asking questions pertaining to topics he'd discussed earlier. She had even gone as far as to broach the subject of a book in which Grissom coauthored, spouting terms and citing excerpts. Grissom was awed by the sheer beauty of Sara's mind, unlike her counterparts, whose attention span might have been compared to that of a gnat. The longer Grissom and Sara conversed, the more disinterested the females became until finally, they parted, leaving Grissom and Sara to themselves._

_Two hours passed before Sara asked Grissom out for coffee. But prior to, she insisted on him taking in the sights and sound of San Francisco had to offer. With nothing else planned, Grissom was more than delighted to accompany her._

_They walked aimlessly for hours when Sara suggested they head down to pier 39 for some coffee. It was a fifteen minute walk, but they made it in 10, as the cold chill from the winter night air inspired them to walk briskly. After arriving at their destination, Sara spied a photo booth and coaxed a reluctant Grissom into taking his picture with her. She led him into the semi-enclosure, sat him down and followed suit by sitting upon his lap while managing, with great dexterity, to insert two quarters into the coin slot. Seconds later, an alarm sounded and the device began emitting flashes of light in succession prompting Sara to instantly pose. Her movements were deliberate and exaggerated that_ _Grissom was unable to suppress his laughter. After a few minutes, Grissom became highly sensitive to Sara's body motion causing him to suddenly suspend his laughter. He was content on simply watching her; in all her animation; in all her beauty. He was captivated by her incessant laughter…when Sara suddenly turned to face him._

_Grissom's chest was rising and falling rapidly and, with Sara's particular attention to detail, she observed his face bore the look of a man yearning with desire. As she shifted her body to better look at him, she could feel him against her. Instantaneously, the playful look once dawned on her face disappeared. Sara raised her hand and stroked the length of Grissom's face, smoothing out the lines that bordered his eye. She lowered her head to his and gingerly kissed him on the lips, unleashing from within him the passion that enveloped him most of that night. Passionately, they kissed each other for a long time – neither sated by the feel and taste of one another. The flashes continued, capturing each frame of emotion when Sara rested her head along side of his. They tightly clung to each other, neither wanting the moment to end. It was then, one last flash illuminated the booth…_it was a night Sara would never forget.

The memory washed over her in an instant. Sara unfastened her mobile phone from her belt clip and contacted dispatch for backup. Once the call was completed, she drew upon her training received in the use of firearms and headed off to check the remaining rooms for disturbances. It took Sara less than 4 minutes before she cleared every room with the exception of the kitchen. She moved about the floor methodically when she spotted a window that had been breached. Sara lowered her glock and sighed.

"Realized there was nothing of value and moved on", Sara chided in the absence of the apparent burglar.

Sara holstered her weapon and immediately notified dispatch to have them discard her initial call. She didn't want to be bothered by a crew of investigators canvassing her home, especially on the eve she and Grissom were scheduled to leave town.

Sara carefully moved around the broken glass that littered the floor debating whether or not to print the window in light of the fact nothing was stolen. Sara sighed a second time and was about to turn around when she was struck hard from behind.

In utter pain, Sara crashed to the floor barely conscious. Although her vision was blurred she could make out one lone figure standing over her. She rolled her head to one side and then back again, hopeful her vision would clear, when she encountered another blow to the head. Sara's eyes fluttered momentarily, until the blur faded to black.

* * *


	2. In the Field

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff!

**PLEASE READ**:

I am calling on all CSI enthusiasts (whether or not you write fanfic) to participate in an online CSI FANFIC Survey. The results will be used for a FanFic project/paper I'm writing. There are no accounts to login to.

www.gemini-hosting.be/Surveys/public/survey.php?nameCSISurveycopy2

Simply copy/paste the survey link (above) into the address field, hit the enter key and get down to business! This process takes less than 2 minutes - tops! So don't be shy; speak your mind - and take stock in knowing you'll be helping a struggling writer out!

BTW: BIG Thanks to those who completed the survey and left feedback!

The street on which Sara lived was engulfed by onlookers and TV reporters. Even the air space above resembled that of the activity on the ground, as news media helicopters from every station imaginable cluttered the sky, hovering in staggered formation and jockeying for position in order to capture "_the award winning shot_".

Grissom exited the passenger side of the vehicle all the while remaining visually fixated on the chaos already in progress. He looked on as reporters relentlessly questioned police personnel in their bid to extrapolate information from these men in uniform who'd corded off the perimeter only moments earlier. Grissom then turned his attention toward the path leading to the front door of Sara's apartment. While in transit he'd heard over the police radio that Sara was alive and that she'd been transported to the hospital, however, he had yet to know in what condition. The thought of Sara being hurt or, worst yet, that she could potentially die played on his mind until suddenly he recollected from several years ago what Sara once told him:

"_By the time you figure it out it really could be too late";_ the words of a young, yet mature, beautiful and talented person who exhibited all of the signs of a school girl experiencing her first crush. At the time, Grissom regarded her statement benign. But now her words were forever resonating in his head, haunting him.

Incapable of moving, Grissom's eyes remained fixed on the front door. He had been paralyzed with fear; fear of what he would discover once inside; of the horror he would uncover; Sara's horror.


	3. Sara's Apartment

I Don't own any of this stuff!

Sara's Apartment, Continued

Grissom turned to face the direction of Sara's bedroom where her body was found. While proceeding slowly down the hallway his pulse quicken, resulting from an odor with which he was all too familiar – the distinct odor of iron saturating the air. Upon reaching the end of the corridor Grissom peered into the room, as if reluctant to believe his own eyes.

From where he stood, Grissom immediately caught sight of blood soaked sheets; that the room had been ransacked; a large pool of blood which had settled beside the length of the bed; the accompaniment of multiple sets of bloodied foot prints, presumably belonging to at least two Emergency Medical Technicians, Sara and the unknown assailant. In disbelief, Grissom helplessly observed the telltale signs of struggle, evidence of Sara's unsuccessful attempt to fight off her attacker; evidence the wounds she sustained possibly life threatening.

Despite being visually overwhelmed, Grissom entered the room moving flushed along the wall. Facing the foot of the bed, he surveyed the room once again when he caught another glimpse of the blood pool. He winced at the sight, first wondering whether Sara's wounds were, at all, survivable; then fearing the worst after considering his recent discovery. The myriad of thoughts which blanketed Grissom's mind saddened him to no end, causing a buildup of moisture to spill from his eyes.

Grissom haphazardly ran his hands over his entire face quickly removing the streaks of wetness, unnerved by his overt inability to command his feelings. He took in a deep breath, exhaled and peered through the spaces between his fingers, after which, he took notice of a white card laying stranded beside the foot of the dresser. He knelt down, flipped it over and felt his heart sink further, engulfed by the painful memory of his findings.

Clutched in his hand was a photograph of him embracing Sara; a photograph he'd taken with her while in San Francisco, he recalled, the day of his seminar. Grissom thumbed Sara's image for a long moment before sliding the photo carefully into his breast pocket, and before realizing he was no longer occupying the room alone.

"You okay?"

The words were spoken softly; the voice, unrecognizable. And yet, with his back to the door Grissom knew it was Brass.

At this time, Grissom's concern for Sara was heightened, and his only objective, after having witnessing the aftermath of Sara's assault, was to be with her.

"I need your keys." Grissom said while rising to his feet and turning to face Brass without establishing eye contact.

"Let me drive you", appealed Brass.

"I'm fine." Grissom bit out. "I just need to see Sara. I need to know if…"

Grissom's voice quivered under the gut wrenching pain he felt ebbing away at him. His eyes were bloodshot from fighting back the tears; fighting to maintain his composure...

Although Brass was unwilling to submit he ultimately conceded, relinquishing his keys without further debate.

"She was taken to Desert Palms", Brass offered. Seconds later, Grissom trailed down the hallway out of sight, leaving Brass alone.


	4. Desert Palms Hospital

Desert Palms Hospital

It was a busy night for both the local law enforcement and the Las Vegas Trauma center. Grissom maneuvered around teams of nurses who were scrambling to provide medical care to every critically injured patient visible. As he continued inching closer toward the check-in desk his attention was averted by an overweight black woman who'd intercepted him on the floor.

"Can I help _youuu_?" Her Southern accent was a dead give away.

"I'm looking for a patient who was recently admitted, Sara Sidle?"

The woman scanned her clipboard until she came across the entry she was looking for.

"She's in surgery...has been for the past half hour. If _youuu_ like, I can leave a message for the surgeon to speak with _youuu_ just as soon as he's available?"

"Yes please, thank you."

" In the mean time, _youuu_ can take a seat in the waiting room."

The portly woman gestured in the direction she wanted Grissom to follow.

Waiting Room

Grissom was seated in the waiting room for nearly five hours. In this time he called to mind the specific point in time he'd met Sara. He conjured every nuance in detail; every moment of their encounter, which he held fondly; memories that plagued his heart…until those very memories became overshadowed by the presence of a man of short stature dressed in scrubs.

"Are you Mr. Grissom?"

"Yes."

"Hi, my name is Dr. Chen. I was one of the surgeons who worked on Sara."

Grissom lunged from his seat. He could hear his heart pounding as he anxiously awaited news of Sara's condition.

"Sara is in critical but stable condition. Although the surgery went well, we'll need to closely monitor her for the next several days."

"Doctor, I work for the crime lab", Grissom said while holding his identification badge at eye level. "I need to draft a report of your findings."

"As I mentioned, her condition is critical, but stable. She sustained trauma to her skull; fractures of the 5th and 6th ribs, punctured lung; her vaginal walls were torn indicating she'd been violently raped; and lastly, the removal of what I believe to be a .38 caliber bullet from her shoulder."

Grissom stood with his mouth gaped open.

"Mr. Grissom?"

Expressionless, Grissom employed his sights on the surgeon as Dr. Chen continued.

"If you would like to see her, she's in ICU located on the 5th floor."

Unable to find his voice, Grissom simply nodded. His thoughts were otherwise preoccupied with his need to see Sara, even as he was dreading it.


	5. ICU

ICU

Grissom navigated his way down the corridor of the Intensive Care Unit when he spied Sara. His eyes first fell upon

her face which was covered in contusions; her head, completely bandaged; his eyes trailed multiple leads affixed to

Sara from a device that appeared to be monitoring her vital signs; and tubes that were surgically implanted slightly

above her thorax where she was still hemorrhaging from, due to a punctured lung she sustained during the attack. In

spite of himself, Grissom continued to watch as the blood traveled through the tubular shaped hose into a durable

plastic transparency bag secured beneath the railing of her bed.

Grissom was visibly shaken by Sara's appearance to the extent he couldn't bring himself to

physically be by her side. His heart ached, and for a long while he remained in the doorway where he held himself

and silently wept,_ for her_…

0823 hrs.

The moment Warrick, Nick, Greg and Catherine received word of the assault on Sara they immediately descended

upon the apartment complex turned crime scene. Everyone arrived at nearly the same time which, to their discovery

was a first. The team observed the police barricades were still in place, thanks to Brass. Catherine casually slid into

her role as a superior, taking charge as she had always done in Grissom's absence. She barked instructions at

Warrick, Nick and Greg with the expectation that they'd _find something – and fast! _But little did she know they

were all too eager to comply for reasons of their own.

Nick and Warrick wanted nothing more than to have five minutes alone with the assailant. Saunders, too, was feeling

somewhat vindictive despite his usual passive nature. But for the moment, their main focus was on unmasking

evidence that would lead to a viable suspect…no matter how long it took.

They processed the tiny apartment well into the evening, taking blood samples, fibers, and lifting a variety of prints.

To expedite the work, evidence categorized as critical (such as prints) were quickly messengered to the lab for

immediate processing. The general consensus was that if an individual has exhibited violent behavior, the person may

have a history of violence and, therefore, may already be in the system -- something the entire team was counting on.


	6. 4am Blues

2100 hrs, ICU

Unable to reach Grissom by cellular phone, Catherine left the crime scene for Desert Palms Hospital. She'd

known Grissom was with Sara from having phoned the hospital numerous times, mainly to obtain information

about Sara's condition and where she had been physically moved post surgery.

When Catherine made it to the ICU ward she experience no difficulty in finding Sara's room. Although the lights were off the

existing lights from the hallway were sufficient, enabling her to see that Grissom was seated at the far end of the

room away from Sara.

"Gil?"

No answer. She moved in closer and crouched down in front of him while speaking his name a second time. But

he never answered for he was too numb with pain to speak. Nevertheless, Catherine, in her infinite wisdom,

provided the only comforting gesture she could offer which was that of her presence and of moral support. She

exercised prudence by resisting the urge to spout trite remarks that, prior to, she had typically used to console

individuals who were met with great tragedy . She, instead, made every effort to allay Grissom's suffering by

refraining from uttering another word, believing he would have preferred it this way.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

At 4am, the nurses began their rounds, as they did every morning, checking on all ICU patients. Catherine had

since left the facility hours earlier, leaving Grissom where she'd found him. Melissa Cummings, who was in her

first week interning as a nurse, took in a stack of clipboards under her arm and trodden off, looking in on

patients who were charged in her care. When she entered Sara's room she looked upon her with sympathetic eyes; both

she and Sara were the same age; she surmised Sara was attractive, and further observation led her to believe Sara

was _too tough to die_. Just as Melissa glanced away to record instrument readings onto Sara's chart she froze,

her eyes locked on the vital signs monitor. In a panic, she dropped her clipboard, bolted out of Sara's room and

into Sr. Nurse Cheryl Lumas who was presently on her way for coffee. Rendered speechless, Melissa stood in

front of her supervisor flapping her arms wildly and speaking incoherently. Her lack of experience in keeping

cool under pressure was something the Sr. Nurse mentally noted and was certain to work on with Melissa in the

days that followed.

Unable to string together the simplest speech, Melissa latched on to her superior and pulled her into Sara's room.

The supervising Nurse followed reluctantly believing this to be the equivalent of the proverbial "cry wolf" – up to

the moment she, herself, detected the existence of a serious problem.

"Page the Doctor on-call, STAT! Tell him we have a CODE BLUE!"

Melissa, having anticipated the Sr. Nurse's instructions, was already out the door and halfway to the Nurse's

station. Meanwhile, the commotion startled Grissom awake, catapulting him back into his own personal

nightmare.

"What's happening?" Grissom bit out, to which his question was answered the moment Lumas

retrieved the bag valve mask, a device that is used to manually ventilate patients. What Grissom did not know

was at sometime, during the course of that morning, the equipment monitoring Sara's vital signs malfunctioned

and, as a result, Sara's pulse had fallen well below acceptable limits leaving her barely clinging to life.

Five minutes past before Melissa returned with the attending physician in tow. With a tinge of annoyance, the

doctor assertively instructed Melissa to escort Grissom to the waiting room. Satisfying his instruction, however,

proved difficult for her as Grissom was unwilling. She could see that Grissom was becoming emotional and sensed

he feared the thought of leaving _her_…feared the thought of losing _her... _


	7. The Hour Glass of Good and Evil

Hospital Waiting Room

In the waiting room, a stunned Grissom wept. Saline from the tears that fell stung his eyes while exhaustion took hold of his body and mind. Overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness and despair, Grissom began silently reciting a prayer he'd learned as a child...

In his early adulthood, Grissom subscribed to the belief that _the universe existed without anybody behind or beyond it; that it was fundamentally material in nature, with everything determined by the scientific laws of matter_. Yet, in his desperation, he was moved to prayer, placing his hope in an omnipotent and omniscient God, a practice he imagined never indulging. But after having last seen Sara, he would've been inclined to pray to the devil if he believed it would bring _her_ back from the brink of death.

Less than an hour past before Dr. Chen met with Grissom. The optimism Chen once held concerning Sara's recovery was replaced with a look of pending doom.

"Mr. Grissom, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I've consulted with the attending physician, and it is, in our medical opinion, highly doubtful Sara will make it through the next few days. I'm truly sorry, but…"

Dr. Chen continued; Grissom's eyes fixedly on Chen's. Grissom didn't know how to react or respond. He stood expressionless; still. The initial shock of Sara being attacked was more than he could deal with; _and_ _now, he was to prepare himself for the unimaginable?_ _Sara's death?_

'No!' Grissom uttered, unwilling to accept Dr. Chen's news.

"I am sorry", Dr. Chen stated for the very last time before moving off.


	8. Ritual of Vigiliance

Sara's room, hospital.

In denial, Grissom refused to accept Dr. Chen's prognosis concerning Sara. Furthermore, _he didn't want to believe_ he would never have an opportunity to convey his heart to Sara, or to explain why he was distant toward _her_ for so many years. He slipped his hand beneath her own and leaned forward, close enough to where he could whisper in her ear.

"Sara? Honey, I'm here."

Sara lay lifeless; the respirator forcing air into her lungs.

"Sara, I love you", Grissom choked out, tears streaming down his face.

From that day forth, Grissom held a vigil by Sara's bedside. For the time he was away from her, he would go directly home to shower, change and grab a snack, but would then return to her, where he would remain well after visiting hours. The Sr. Nurse initially objected to Grissom's presence. But after having been advised of Sara's fate, she didn't have the heart to summon security, as described in hospital policy. She simply could not, would not turn Grissom away.

The next day was much the same. This time though, Grissom brought a favorite book from his personal library, entitled Moby Dick. He had read to Sara several of his favorite passages to pass the time. Afterward, he began rubbing and kneading her legs, something the Sr. Nurse had instructed him on, so as to prevent Sara from developing atrophy. He'd perform this ritual intermittently throughout the morning and evening. He would run his hands from her ankles up to her thighs, during which Grissom couldn't help noticing how soft and silky her skin felt.

Grissom eyes fluttered each time he maneuvered his hands to avoid the bruised markings along Sara's upper thighs. The sight of it angered him. But the moment he would look up at Sara, seeing her face produced within him a calming effect. Just knowing she was fighting for her life proved to be enough of a distraction for Grissom to where he wasn't focused on the case, or what he greatly desired to do to the person who physically harmed Sara. For the moment, he was thankful that Sara was alive, and no matter what he'd been previously told, he believed _she would survive_.


	9. Clinging to Life

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STUFF. STORY BASED ON CHARACTERS OF CBSs' OWN CSI!

BTW: FILL OUT MY SURVEY IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, THANKS (link to survey is located under my profile).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days came and went and, still, Sara was alive. She'd survived one day more than the attending physician predicted; but as Dr.

Chen emphatically reiterated to Grissom, this was no indication of improvement. Sara's injuries were very serious, and every life

saving technique was employed to counter her condition. Unfortunately, subsequent to the major surgery performed, Sara's

physical state swiftly deteriorated, to which the attending physician responded by soliciting and comparing views among the top

three surgeons on staff. It was at that time, much to the disappointment of these healing experts, they reached a similar

conclusion -- Sara was living on borrowed time.

After one full week, Sara's condition was unchanged. And although Grissom initially expected a favorable outcome, by weeks

end, it appeared he was resigned to accept the inevitable. He sobbed over Sara, clutching her hand -- reluctant to _let go_. He had

nothing; his mental and physical reserves depleted; he felt nothing, other than the hollowness that accompanies loss. Grissom

slowly rose to his feet, overcome by the premonition he'd be walking out of Sara's door for the very last time.


	10. Awakening

Hi gang! Hit me with your REVIEWs! While your here, check out my profile, and complete my survey -- takes less than 1 minute!…thanks a bunch!

BTW: I don't own this stuff!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara's room, continued

With the sleeve of his shirt, Grissom wiped the residual tears from his face, took one last look at Sara and motioned to leave. He'd only taken two steps toward the doorway when, suddenly, the unexpected sounds of gasping drew his attention. When Grissom turned to face Sara, he thought he was dreaming or, at the very least, seeing what he wanted to see. Because for the first time, since having been hospitalized, Sara's eyes were – open?

Grissom lost his breath; his eyes locked in a squint on Sara. He observed her as she lay motionless; when, after a moment, it occurred again. Sara began gasping -- but this time, uncontrollably. Realizing she had entered a state of distress, Grissom quickly moved into the hallway.

"HELP! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP!'

Grissom returned to Sara as quickly as he'd left, but not before the Sr. Nurse and her intern caught a glimpse of him fading out of sight. The two hurriedly trailed after him; and after having entered the room, the Sr. Nurse quickly reacted in spite of being taken aback by what was unfolding before her.

"Sara, you have to relax. I'm going to remove the tube from your throat, but before I can do this, you HAVE TO RELAX." The Sr. Nurse held Sara down, imploring her to submit. But Sara was unable to. The tears poured from her eyes as she bucked and squirmed from the pain and discomfort of her injuries, and from her inability to breathe normally. She fought against the foreign obstruction; the tube that fed her oxygen – that sustained her life – that, ironically, was now strangling her.

"SARA! LOOK AT ME", Grissom commanded.

Sara's eyes darted around in her head, visually searching for the face matching that of the voice of familiarity. She knew it was Grissom. And by the time he had finally entered her line of sight, she shut her eyes and blindly reached out for him, clasping firmly onto his jacket with one hand while, in that brief moment, registering a look of calm.

Feeling opportunistic, the Sr. Nurse performed the task of removing the tube while managing to sporadically eye her young apprentice as if she were attempting to telepathically indicate what all they had witnessed was atypical. Yet the intern failed to pick up the subtle cues from her supervisor as she, too, was occupied. Not with anything related to her profession, but merely by Grissom's demonstration of affection toward Sara. She watched as Grissom clung to her, sobbing tears of joy and relief in the course of kissing her…

…_the opportunity to behold, with great wonderment, Sara at the start of her miraculous road to recovery proved not only to be amazing...it was truly a miracle!_

---------


	11. Unforseen Impediments

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff (characters, trade name whatever, just the story concept!)

WHILE YOU'RE HERE, take time to fill out my online _Survey_. No accounts to login to; simply click on my PEN-NAME (above); then click on "CSI/FanFic" link. This process takes less than 1 minutes - tops! So don't be shy; speak your mind!

Thanks in advance!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 Weeks Later

From the moment Sara regained consciousness she and Grissom were inseparable; by day, Grissom would partake in Sara's physical therapy sessions, supporting her weight during her use of a walker until, at the end of the second week, she was able to carry herself under her own strength; by night, while Sara slept, he would share her bed, with Sara's head propped up against Grissom's chest, his arms encircling her in a protective embrace.

The two were quite the spectacle; the talk of the ward. Yet, despite outward appearances, the medical team that had watched over her, that had decidedly moved to discharge Sara, believed she was far from normal.

On the day of her release, Sara's appearance was improved, in that her bruises were nearly gone, and her wounds were continuing to heal nicely. However, the attending physician was left with one concern, being that of Sara's mental state. For that reason, the doctor coordinated a meeting between their resident psychologist, Dr. Wheeler, and Sara; and subsequently, with Grissom.

**Dr. Wheeler's Office**

"Mr. Grissom, immediately after sexual assault two of the most common reactions is depression and what has come to be called posttraumatic stress disorder. How the rape affects Sara will depend in part on the type of attack, the level of violence, and the type of person she is, just to name a few."

Dr. Wheeler continued. "Once the realization kicks in the first reaction she may experience is that of confusion and fear. A few hours later, these feelings will give way to depression, exhaustion, and restlessness. In about two weeks she'll begin to feel better emotionally, but three weeks later her symptoms may worsen again. She may experience severe bouts of fear and depression and have problems with self-esteem, social adjustment, and sexual dysfunction for up to 18 months after the assault. These symptoms may last upward to at least 6 years. As a result, I can't stress the importance of continued therapy. This is a critical period for Sara, one in which she will need to talk with a professional about her assault and her reactions to it.

Dr Wheeler, though apprehensive, continues.

"Mr. Grissom, if I may ask…what is your relationship with Sara like?"

Grissom's pursed his lips while answering.

"We're colleagues."

"I'm sorry, I meant outside of work?"

Unconsciously pausing, Grissom sought the answer to her question which, for a number of years, he'd been unable to answer for himself. Unfortunately, the only thought that crept into his cerebrum was the same answer in which he spouted just moments earlier.

"We're just colleagues", he repeated tentatively.

Just then, Dr. Wheeler's pager sounded, diverting her attention, and providing Grissom with a brief reprieve. Wheeler quickly disabled her pager and resumed looking directly at Grissom with the expectation of a more complete response from him. But Grissom could only manage to express himself using the same words.

"We're …we're just colleagues."

Dr. Wheeler persisted with her line of questioning.

"She had asked you out that night…the night of the incident?"

Ill at ease, Grissom failed to comment.

"Um…Okay." Dr. Wheeler stated with resignation. "The nurses and I have come to notice that Sara is most comfortable when you're around. She trusts you and that's extremely important, particularly during this phase of her rehabilitation. So, for the time being, just be there for her, keep the subject content of your conversations light and ensure she keeps every scheduled appointment..."

"Yes, of course doctor. I will."


	12. Self Dispraised

Medical Center

After the release papers were signed, Grissom made his way to the hospital lobby, mentally consumed by the question Dr. Wheeler had posed during their recent discussion concerning Sara.

"Mr. Grissom, what is your relationship with Sara like?"

Admittedly, the question had taken Grissom by surprise. He'd contemplated his response to Wheeler and then scolded himself for failing to be forthright about his feelings. It was, after all, apparent how he felt to everyone that worked on the floor of the ICU ward. "So, why the evasiveness?" he murmured to himself.

But Grissom had cause to worry. Originally, he was led to believe Sara would not survive. This knowledge affected Grissom, moving him to bear his soul during the unforgettable period Sara lay incapacitated and unconscious. Every word that was said, that he pledged to her had been predicated on the belief that he had done so on her death bed. And thus, his true feelings were exposed for the entire world to see.

Yet, Sara managed to cheat death. But it was not without its side effects. Grissom began casually retreating into his protective shell, wavering between Sara's immediate needs in addition to his own.

Feeling skittish, Grissom ran his hand through his curls and glanced over at the wall clock. How time had flown, he thought to himself in response to his memory of having first met Sara.

San Francisco

It was after 1am when Sara and Grissom decided to leave the wharf. At Sara's request, Grissom walked her home to an apartment located not more than a half hour by foot. Grissom surmised she had conjured the idea to ditch her car in an attempt to prolong their time together – a brilliant plan that appeared to show some success, or so Sara appeared to think!

Upon approaching the front door Sara edged ahead of Grissom. With keys in hand and a twist of her wrist, she unlocked the dead bolt, turned toward Grissom and immediately sensed something was troubling him. But before she had a chance to ask him anything, he broke his silence.

"I really had a great time."

"Me too," Sara said, while studying Grissom face. "Hey, you wanna come inside", Sara showing no signs of relenting.

"I shouldn't, Sara. My flight leaves at 8."

Sara stared at Grissom, astonished by his gentlemanly quality. Most other men would just as soon take her where she stood, if given the chance. Yet Grissom, in her opinion, was not like most men. And this belief was solidified by his demonstration of character, truly one of many alluring traits that aroused Sara.

"Can't you take a later flight?" cajoled Sara.  
Wantonly, Grissom looked upon Sara sporting a a devilish grin. In the short time they were together, she had made him feel alive, eliciting feelings no other woman has ever been capable of invoking. And now, after having found her, he didn't wish to leave her. However, he found himself reluctantly uttering the opposite of his longing.

"Good night, Sara."

Grissom could see the disappointment in Sara's eyes. He pulled her into him and embraced her, tightening his hold, not wanting to let go. But when he realized she was offering resistance he loosened his grip. Grissom tilted his head in order to see Sara's face when, unexpectedly, she leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth.

Sara glided the tip of her tongue along Grissom's parted lips, producing excitement in him beyond belief. 'She continued her exploits by grinding her hips into his, taking pleasure and satisfaction from Grissom's full erection. Unable to hold back his own persistent urges, Grissom pinned Sara against his body, kissing, tasting greedily, and inhaling her intoxicating scent'. Until, without warning, he broke from Sara's embrace, leaving her standing alone on her porch, her eyes trailing him as he vanished into the darkness...

The subtle body brush of an elderly woman attempting to pass pulled Grissom back into the present. Grissom eyed the older woman, nervously clasping his hands while taking deep breaths in his attempt to calm himself -- when again, his thoughts shifted to his present dilemma – of whether or not he could undo the mistakes he committed from the past, if he could overcome the fear of risking himself, or whether he could abandon his insular lifestyle for the purpose of allowing Sara into his life. _And What of Sara_, he pondered. _Would she accept me?_ _After all that has happened? Does she blame me?_ Grissom was literally terrified...


	13. There's No Place Like Home

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff (characters, trade name whatever, just the story concept!)

WHILE YOU'RE HERE, take time to fill out my online _Survey_. No accounts to login to; simply click on my PEN-NAME (above); then click on "CSI/FanFic" link. This process takes less than 1 1/2 minutes - tops! So don't be shy; speak your mind!

Thanks!

**_There's no place like home…_**

Grissom drove into his assigned stall, parked and looked toward Sara who was slumped in the passenger side asleep. _She couldn't look any more beautiful,_ Grissom thought to himself, as he reluctantly moved to wake her. He rubbed her bare arm while speaking her name, until, finally, she stirred.

"We're home", he said huskily.

Sara groggily looked about without having noticed Grissom was gone. He'd already rounded the vehicle with the intent of helping her from the passenger side when the unexpected sight of Catherine, Warrick and Nick, huddling at his front door, drew his attention. Catherine was the first to break formation, moving in their direction, arms extended toward Sara.

"God Sara, it's so good to see you."

After a long and cordial embrace, Catherine pulled herself from Sara and ushered her toward Warrick and Nick, both of whom were patiently waiting where Catherine left them.

"Common, the _guys_ are anxious to see you", Catherine whispered, as she whisked Sara away.

Trailing behind, Grissom observed with envy the warmth and camaraderie exhibited toward Sara. It wasn't that he craved attention. His reaction had more to do with his feeling excluded – likened to his days in high school, a painful reminder of a time when Grissom regarded himself a ghost.

Once inside, Grissom immediately took to the couch and made himself comfortable, while everyone else surrounded Sara in a tight bunch. Although Sara was overtly uncomfortable by the excess attention, she appeared to play it off well; or perhaps it was due to the medication still at work in her system, Grissom speculated. He continued to watch, maintaining a vantage point to where he could see Sara unobstructed.

Several hours passed before the festive mood deteriorated. Grissom noticed Catherine reaching for her jacket. Although he couldn't make out what she was saying over the music emanating from his state of the art stereo system, he knew she was about to leave. Then it hit him. Grissom's eyes involuntarily closed. Before driving Sara home from the hospital, he felt fatigued, but more so now than before. And before he realized it, he had nodded off in the presence of Nick, Warrick and Sara.

"Guess its true what they say about old age…it's like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed", Nick cracked.

Warrick responded with a chuckle, unlike Sara whose expression soured.

Nick picked up on Sara's demeanor and quickly attempted to extinguish the fires raging in her eyes.

"Common, Sara…he cares", Nick stated in a whine.

"Oh sure, yeah…I can tell", Sara replied, sarcasm spewing like a volcano.

Sensing the change in mood, Warrick inched over to Sara and gave her a bear hug. He held her that way until her countenance softened.

"Take care, girl", Warrick said. He moved toward the front door, opened it and before leaving, looked over his shoulder at Nick. He gave him a knowing look, as if to indicate he had volunteered Nick; that he remain behind to further quell Sara's still apparent anger. The door closed behind him.

"Look, Sara", Nick began, "Grissoms' been there for you from the very beginning.

I mean, when we all learned your prognosis, that you weren't going to live, Grissom took it hard…harder than anyone ever expected. Now, I know he puts on this facade like he's unfeeling or that he doesn't care, but the truth of the matter is right in front of you. You see what I'm getting at?"

Hearing that Grissom underwent his own private suffering proved, somewhat, satisfying to Sara. Yet, it could never compare to what she had endured.

"Thanks", Sara said without sincerity. "I don't know why I reacted that way."

Believing she'd responded with reason, Nick gave her a hug and let himself out, leaving Sara and Grissom alone.


	14. The Chase

----------------------

After awakening from his slumber, Grissom gradually noticed two things: first, it was already morning, and second, his stomach was growling. His eyes wandered randomly, the mental fog clearing as the events from the past evening quickly settled in its place. With great care, Grissom closed his eyes and rolled his head from one side to the other, working away the stiffness that had developed in his neck. _I'm getting old, _he muttered, in response to his apparent need to explain away his retarding physical condition. His bones creaked and his muscles ached; but nothing a few minutes of stretching couldn't cure -- at least for awhile.

Once more he stretched his neck to one side and held this position before opening his eyes and discovering, much to his surprise, Sara sleeping beside him, curled up in a fetal position. Grissom studied Sara's face; the curvature of her mouth; the almost unnoticeable lines that bordered her eyes. Although Sara was older, it didn't show. In fact, from Grissom's view, Sara appeared more beautiful, as though _time_ were playing favorites, if that were at all possible. Suddenly, his stomach growled again, triggering hunger pangs that even Grissom could not ignore.

While Sara slept, Grissom unilaterally settled on taking her out for breakfast. _She hadn't been out in public since her release from the hospital; she needs to return to her routine_; _the normalcy of everyday life,_ he thought, while gently rocking her awake. Unfortunately, despite his finesse, Sara bolted to her feet, from what Grissom could discern, in a flight or fight posture, or perhaps it was a mixture of both.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just me", Grissom said, in a deeply enriched base tone.

Hearing Grissom's voice had always soothed Sara's senses, and in some cases, almost immediately. But for the moment, her panic stricken appearance said otherwise.

"It's okay", he said again, reassuringly. At that moment, Grissom took Sara into his arms and held her close, rocking her; comforting her.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, to which she didn't respond, at least, not right away.

"Sara?"

"A little", she managed in a whisper.

"There's a terrific little cafe a few blocks away. We can walk there just as soon as you're ready." At first, Sara contemplated his words before acquiescing; for in her mind, it didn't matter where she was, as long as Grissom was there by her side…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All units, Code 3 – suspect seen leaving vehicle – male, Caucasian, 5'11'', wearing blue jeans, a brown leather jacket…"

The radio cracked and whistled as reports of a possible suspect, alleged to have been involved in the assault on Sara Sidle, lit up the airways. Brass was driving down the strip when he had received the broadcast call to join in the pursuit.

"Suspect seen entering residential yard, K-9 units are on site." The radio fell silent.

"Damn it, the address! What's the ADDRESS!!", Brass yelled from the top of his lungs, both hands clenching the steering wheel. He knew he was close. An earlier radio transmission set him in the general location in which the vehicle pursuit was closing to an end. Now the suspect was on foot, and Brass was chomping at the bit to get into the action.

After five minutes, Brass grew impatient waiting for an update from dispatch. With a heavy hand, he removed his portable radio and began searching for the frequency used by the lead patrol car hoping to acquire some logistics. But before he could locate the channel, the radio activity commenced again.

"All units, 10-15 at 535 Lane Ave. All units, code 4.

Brass immediately pulled off the road and parked; His heart is racing; the adrenalin still pumping through his veins. And there was literally nothing he could do to expend the excess energy, because it was, for the most part, over. _The prisoner was in custody_, dispatch had reported, _no further assistance required_. Brass disabled his emergency flasher and took a moment longer to wind down before heading back to the station. There, he would bide his time until the prisoner underwent processing at LVPD. _An anticlimactic end_, Brass mouthed aloud as he began his U-turn.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grissom and Sara headed out the door to begin their short jaunt to the cafe. There wasn't much foot traffic to speak of. However, the few people that were encountered along the path left Sara retreating into Grissom's side, and Grissom feeling like a human shield.

"You okay, Sara?"

Sara nodded with dubious affirmation. But, of course, w_hat else could she have said? That she's terrified out of her mind and desires nothing more than to return home, behind the safety of four walls? _Grissom's head began to ache as the plethora of such thoughts saturated him.


	15. Sick and Tired

It's a Grind

Grissom took time out to check his messages from his mobile phone. He had powered the device off earlier, fearing Ecklie would attempt to contact him, again. Grissom scrolled through the list of missed calls; twenty-five, of which belonged to Ecklie, and one missed call and one text message received from Brass. Grissom opened the text message which read 'We Got Him, IR2'. It was all that was needed to lure Grissom back to the Department of CSI.

Braving the hallways, Grissom barreled down the corridor toward Interrogation Room, #2, hoping he wouldn't run into Ecklie along the way.

"You made it", Brass said.

"I had to drop Sara off at the hospital."

"She okay?"

"Yeah", Grissom said, not wanting to elaborate.

"He's waving his right to an attorney." Brass said.

"Who is he?" Grissom said, peering through the window.

"Vlas Naberezhnyi, no priors."

"Do we have anything on him?"

"Yeah, his DNA all over Sara's bedroom and the sexual assault kit we retrieved from the hospital."

Grissom's eyes narrowed.

Brass broke eye contact to discover the District Attorney making a B-line directly toward him. He reached for the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Look Gil, I'll see you inside."

Grissom nodded and entered the room alone.

Vlas Naberezhnyi Was in his forties, possessing dark features. He was of medium build, and muscular, Grissom observed before the young man turn to face him.

"Who are you?!!" Vlas said, with a heavy Russian accent.

"Gil Grissom, Criminalist." Grissom moved directly in front of the foreigner.

"Criminalist?...I have nothing to do with a criminalist. I have done nothing wrong."

"Well, we have evidence to the contrary.

The door opened and Brass entered.

"You cannot hold me", Vlas continued.

"I'm afraid we can", rebuffed Grissom.

"Do you know who I am? Do you have any idea?!!"

"Sure. You're the guy who brutally raped one of my staff, shot her and then left her for dead."

Vlas eyed Grissom for a long moment and then smiled.

"AHHH, yes…it comes to me now. You are the one in the pho-to-graph. I did not recognize you at first." Vlas said, still smiling; still reveling in his deeds of wickedness.

Vlas tilted his chair back until the front legs where airborne. He rocked back and forth, smiling at the notion he was untouchable. He rocked back and forth several times before Grissom noticed scars along the neck of the Russian; defense markings Grissom was certain had been left by Sara. Grissom became enraged, kicking the chair from under Vlas, causing him to crash onto the floor and clip the back of his head against the wall.

"Did you see that?" Vlas exclaimed to Brass. "I want to file a complaint. Tell me your badge number?"

"I'm not a cop", Grissom said.

Vlas looked to Brass for support.

"You saw what he did, yes?"

"Actually no, I didn't." Brass responded.

"Of course! You people…see what you want to see."

"Something like that." Brass added.

The door to the interrogation room suddenly swung open.

"Fortunately, I saw everything." Ecklie said, while eyeing Grissom. "I want to see both of you in my office, right now!"

Ecklie motioned for one of the sheriffs to watch over the prisoner and stormed down the hall toward his office. Brass and Grissom took their time edging out into the hallway. Brass reached for Grissom's arm, holding him back.

"I've got bad news", Brass whispered. "The D.A. is going to move for Vlas' release."

"Excuse me?!"

"We can't hold him."

Grissom jerked his head in disbelief.

"You have irrefutable evidence that this guy committed a heinous crime, and you're going to let him walk?"

"Keep your voice down", Brass whispered. "I don't like it any more than you, but it turns out our boy has diplomatic immunity."

Brass and Grissom redirect their attention on Vlas who was being escorted by two deputies.

"Vlas is son to Ilya Naberezhnyi, a Russian diplomat. The D.A. has made it clear that his office isn't interested in pursing this issue with the U.S. Ambassador, primarily because he doesn't believe Russia will accept a US request to waive immunity. Their decision was based on a 2005 occurrence out of Los Angeles dubbed vehicle vs. pedestrian. It was reported that A Russian diplomat was arrested for driving under the influence, but not before he'd struck an on-duty police officer with his vehicle."

"So?" Grissom stated.

"So, the guy received a free get out of jail card and a first class airline ticket to his homeland."

Brass looked as his watch and sighed. "Well, time to face the music."

"You go ahead. I'll catch you later." Grissom said.

"What about Ecklie?"

"Tell him I went to the hospital, sick."

"Sick", Brass said

"Yeah, sick and tired."


	16. Big Country

Hi folks, don't forget to fill out my survey. Click on my nickname for instructions.

THANKS!!!!

BTW: If you don't want to follow Sara's progress, read the PART – B of this chapter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

PART-A (Desert Palm Hospital)

Sara sat in the hospital courtyard waiting for Grissom to return. She looked forlornly into space, her eyes moist from the threat of tears. She was deep in thought; her memory reenacting a moment in time, which she believed no amount of therapy could ever remedy.

A squirrel moved across the lawn to where Sara was seated, stood up on its hind legs and poised in suspended animation. It was the healthiest looking squirrel she'd ever seen; larger than most, with a tail so dense that it almost looked fake. With her attention on the Squirrel, Sara never noticed Grissom entering onto the grounds.

Grissom was over an hour late. En route to the hospital he'd taken a detour, stopping at a floral shop where he bought a dozen red roses for Sara. Grissom had hoped the bouquet would make up for his tardiness in addition to brightening her day. He hid the flowers behind his back, pacing toward her when Sara's eyes met his.

"I'm sorry for arriving late", Grissom said, unveiling the roses. Sara merely looked past his gift, sprang to her feet and, instead, sought comfort in his arms.

"Honey, what happened? Sara?" Concern marked by his tone.

"Take me home, please", Sara said, in a saddening voice. A perturbed Grissom thumbed the tears that had stained Sara's face. Although Grissom wanted desperately to know what went on in his absence, he resisted the urge to press Sara for an answer.

PARTT – B (2 hours later).

While at home, Grissom checked his cell phone for messages. As he expected, Ecklie phoned – 4 times, and Catherine left a text message, which Grissom readily recalled for the purpose of reviewing.

_Ecklie is on the war path, suspending you for insubordination. Call me. _

"I wouldn't have expected anything less", Grissom remarked aloud, as he dropped his phone on the battery charger.

While Sara was in the bathroom, Grissom disappeared upstairs for 15 minutes. He then reappeared with a duffle bag filled to capacity.

"Sara?"

"I'll be out in a minute", her voice muffled through the closed door.

When Sara emerged, Grissom reached around her waist with one hand, and with the duffle bag in the other, he guided Sara outside to his SUV.

"Where are we going?" Sara said, reluctant to leave.

"I want to show you something."

Grissom opened the passenger side for Sara, threw the duffle bag onto the back seat, quickly hopped into the vehicle and took to the road. He drove non-stop for nearly three hours, the latter two hours of which Sara spent sleeping. She never woke until they came to a house on the outskirts of town.

The house was very old, but well maintained; white in color with a white picket fence surrounding the yard. Sara stretched her body in the limited spacing of the compartment and looked over at Grissom.

"Are we there yet", Sara mused.

Grissom shot Sara a glance, accompanied by one raised eyebrow.

"Cute.", he said with a wide smile. "To answer your question, yes, we have reached our destination." He wanted to tickle Sara in her side for being irresistibly – Sara, but refrained.

"Common, there's someone I'd like you to meet", Grissom said.

When they exited the vehicle, they were greeted by a purebred German Shepard, vibrant colors of golden brown and black.

"Sara, meet Daisy."

Sara loved animals. She knelt down to pet the dog when it suddenly went wild. Daisy was obviously excited by their presence. Her tail was wagging so fast that Grissom was certain the animal would lift off of the ground. She jumped and barked and licked Sara everywhere until Grissom took hold of her choke collar. Daisy was in a playful mood. Her body became a dead weight, as she collided with the turf, rolling partially on her back, beckoning Sara, Grissom, or both for a tummy rub. Grissom watched Sara and her interaction with Daisy. It was the happiest he'd seen her in a long time.

Grissom's back was to the house when a like breed began its approach. Sara noticed the dog in motion, becoming frighten by its stalking movements and guttural growl. She whispered Grissom's name, her eyes fixated on the animal.

"Sara, don't move", Grissom said, as he slowly moved away from Sara three yards or so. Daisy attempted to follow, but he held his hand out and verbally commanded her to stay. After what he believed to be ample distance from Sara, Grissom got down on his hands and knees and waited, like a lamb to the slaughter. Sara was shaking in place, looking over her shoulders and planning her escape back into the SUV. She continued to watch, worried for Grissom's safety.

Grissom was knowledgeable about many things; history, bugs, criminology…what could he possibly know about domesticated animals, or more accurately, mad dogs?

The German shepherd crept up to Grissom and growled, much more ominously than before. Suddenly, the animal lunged at Grissom, taking his forearm into his powerful jaws. Sara could still hear the animal snarling, yet she never wavered from her position. Suddenly, Sara heard nothing but silence, attentively watching as the dog released Grissom's arm and laid down – panting? If Sara didn't know any better, she would have thought the animal was smiling.

"Sara, I'd like you to meet Guardian."

Grissom motioned for Sara to come closer. Trusting in Grissom, she did, with Daisy trailing close behind.

"I think this here dog is either going blind or is bordering senility."

Sara laughed in response to Grissom's comment, much of her fear subsiding. Grissom and Sara were occupied, petting and pampering both dogs when Daisy instantaneously scrambled on all fours and bolted toward the house. Grissom and Sara followed the animal with their eyes until the dog made it to the porch. There, a portly woman was standing, dressed in a white apron, observing the two from a distance. Grissom looked upon Sara and took her hand in his and smiled.

"Finally, I'd like you to meet my mother", he uttered softly.


	17. Mother

**Home**

Jenny Grissom was seventy-three years old. She was in pretty good condition for her age, with only high cholesterol and

her deafness to contend with. Nevertheless, Grissom worried over his mother, constantly. Her living alone was the catalyst

that led to the purchase of Daisy and Guardian. They were only puppies the day Grissom plucked them from out of the

local pet store – that was five years ago. And within that time, Grissom had the animals trained to serve as well behaved

companions for his aging mother, despite her apparent acceptance to live out her years alone.

Grissom entered into the kitchen to observe his mother at work. Jenny had cooked a host of foods; duck, steamed

vegetables, mashed potatoes and gravy, and for dessert, two types of pies: apple and pecan. The aroma seeping from the

kitchen reminded Grissom of how much he'd missed being away from his mother, and the sea of regret he felt resulting

from his remissness.

Before gesticulating, Grissom stomped the floor several times allowing the vibrations to draw his mother's attention.

"It's good to be home", Grissom signed with imperfection. His mother realized this to be from lack of practice, smiled then

waved for Grissom to come close. She reached out and hugged him with all her might, overjoyed to be reunited with her

son.

An anxious Grissom left his mother to check in on Sara. She was just stepping out of the shower when he'd made it up the

stairs. Before he had a chance to enter the doorway the floorboards squealed. The familiar sound produced a smile from

Grissom in tandem with the memories he conjured of home. He continued moving forward toward the partially opened

door when he caught a glimpse of Sara, frontally nude. Grissom couldn't take his eyes off of her, at least not right away.

Within a split second, his eyes absorbed as much detail as they could: Sara's ivory skin, the tattoo of a butterfly on her

ankle. This was nothing Grissom hadn't seen before. The difference, this time, was that Sara's traits weren't hidden behind

bruises and contusions and dried blood. In his embarrassment, Grissom tore his eyes away. He had intended on moving

off, but decided against it fearing the floorboards would give his positioning away. Grissom was completely aroused; his

pulse racing. Unable to help himself, Grissom's eyes drifted, resting on Sara. Through this episode he was careful not to

make a sound. It wasn't until Sara was fully clothed that he began knocking on the door with a countenance of added

innocence.

"Sara? Dinners' ready". Grissom said, pushing the door further open.

"Okay", Sara said, sporting a warm smile.

Grissom lingered in the doorway far too long that Sara took notice. Looking at Grissom, she realized something she hadn't

seen since they first met; when they shared their first kiss. It was the look of longing upon his face. Sara's eyes remained

steadfast on Grissom. In that moment, Grissom felt the utter need to flee, suddenly excusing himself by offering that he was

going to return to help his mother finish setting the table. Sara called after him, her voice meek, but Grissom feigned he did

not hear, continuing his escape without breaking his stride.


	18. More Than Just a Dream

Hi Gang!

Thanks for the encouraging words!. My website is still down, but luckily have internet access, though limited. As usual, I don't own any of this stuff….

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, Sara and Grissom retreated to the living room. There, Grissom placed a few logs into the fire place to fuel the already burning fire. Before taking to the couch, Sara turned the radio on, tuning it to a smooth jazz station. A song she'd never heard was playing, which she could have easily related to, as the lyrics unbelievably echoed her personal feelings concerning Grissom. She turns up the volume.

_Love, I could never find,  
Only in my mind,  
Could I dream of you,  
I wanted to believe  
There was someone for me  
I've waited for so long,  
I know I can't be wrong,_

_You came into my life,  
Opened up my heart,  
Kissed me in the dark,  
And made my dreams come true,  
you're all I want to breathe,  
You're everything I need  
I finally found my home  
I guess I've always known  
that somewhere out there  
Love, was shining in the night  
Hiding in your eyes  
Someday it would find me  
Now, as far as I can see  
It's more than just a dream…_

Unfortunately, Grissom's own interest had less to do with Sara's current affinity and more to do with sleep. Grissom was sluggish from having eaten to excess. His eyelids were heavy and his breathing grew deeper by the minute. After a short while, Sara watched in amusement as Grissom caught himself nodding off until, finally, he dozed off. Sara watched him for a long while before entangling herself in Grissom's arms to join him in slumber.

**2am**

Grissom had awakened to the sound of dishes clattering. Sara was still beside him, sound asleep, allowing him the opportunity to investigate. Grissom rose and made his way to the kitchen. He found his mother putting away dishes she'd finished drying, when Grissom slid his hand on her arm.

"I would have done the dishes later", Grissom signed lazily.

Grissom moved toward the refrigerator, opened it and grabbed a carton of milk. The apple pie he'd eaten at dinner was soon to be consumed as a snack, if only he were able to find it. His head bobbed and weaved while he visually sought out the Tupperware containing his favorite desert. Having searched to no avail Grissom's eyes met his mother's.

Have you told her? Jenny motioned.

"About that...", Grissom mouthed. "Something happened recently…"

"I know!" Jenny's arms waving in the air. "I watch the news, son".

Anticipating his soon to be dissappointed mother', Grissom reached out to her, just as she unexpectedly pulled away.

"You're living a lie", Jenny articulated, her hands moving freely in a violent frenzy.

"Mother, you don't understand the situation", Grissom appealed.

"I understand more than you think!" Jenny gestured in frustration. "Ever since your father died you've been self absorbed; overly sensitive. Even today, you look at me with sympathetic eyes because I'm old and alone. In your fantastic, brilliant mind you've concluded that I'm unhappy, born out of my loss of your father. But your perception couldn't be more wrong. Your father was the best part of my life." Before continuing, Jenny's countenance softens, her eyes gazing upon her son with the look that only a loving mother could muster. "And when you were born, you _and your father_ became the joy of my life. Even if I could, I wouldn't change that for anything in the world." Jenny paused, examining her son's face. "Don't you see, honey?" Jenny found herself petting Grissom, an enactment she'd performed on Daisy and Guardian often. "My life has been very satisfying and fulfilling. And although I don't have your father to grow old with, I was glad to have known love, with _him_. I only wish the same for you, dear."

Fatigued, Jenny kissed Grissom on the forehead.

"Good night, my son."

Before retiring, she turned to face her son, smiled and imparted one last thought..

"Son, you can't concern yourself with matters that have yet to pass."

With that, Jenny retired to her room, leaving Grissom to reflect on her words.

Return to Top


	19. Je Ne Sais Quoi

**Next Morning**

Sara carefully extricated herself from a snoring Grissom, stood and moved off toward the bathroom. Once there, she quickly washed and made her way back through the living room, in the direction of the kitchen, only to be intercepted by Daisy and Guardian. Not wanting to arouse Grissom, Sara reached for their choke collars, respectively, and quietly eased the dogs past Grissom's limp body.

Jenny was already seated at the breakfast nook eating bacon and eggs with toast. Upon seeing Sara, Jenny smiled and motioned for Sara to sit beside her. While remaining in her seat, Jenny set a place for Sara and poured her a tall glass of orange juice. She subsequently uncovered a hotplate to reveal Sara's breakfast, comprised of two poached eggs and toast, but no bacon because Jenny unconsciously had eaten the excess.

Sara took her seat beside Jenny and immediately noticed an 8x11 sheet of paper with scrawled handwriting that read:

_You're welcome to stay as long as you like..._

Sara's heart warmed. "Thank you", Sara said, immediately after having read the note.

Jenny was a superior lip reader. She returned Sara's smile and resumed eating her meal.

From then on, Jenny communicated with Sara, putting pen to paper. They communicated in this fashion until the dogs scattered toward a disturbance in the living room. En route, Guardian collided with Daisy, moments before they had reached the door way. The impact propelled Daisy, as she lost control on the slippery wood floor, sliding to an abrupt stop and into the wall head first. A stunned Daisy yelped. After a moment, she shook her entire body vigorously, as though she had just been bathed, then headed toward Sara's awaiting arms.

"Come here girl. That 'a girl", Sara whispered.

Sara ran her hand up and down the length of daisy's body and flashed an infectious smile at Jenny. Moments later, Grissom entered with Guardian trailing behind.

"What happened?" Grissom commented.

"Daisy had a, um…accident."

"Accident?"

"Yeah, wall versus Daisy." Sara said with twisted mouthed.

Grissom nodded knowingly.

Jenny tapped her fork on the kitchen table.

"Gil, take Sara to the lake. It's beautiful this time of morning. You might even get to see some fawns".

"I thought I would take in a bite to eat", Grissom gestured in kind.

"Take her, Son. Besides, I think you could use the exercise", Jenny signed, grabbing her stomach to stress her point. "When you come back I'll have breakfast waiting for you. Oh, and son, take Daisy and Guardian with you. The lake is much too far for me these days." Oddly, Grissom was thinking the same about himself. He sighed and offered his hand to Sara.

"Sara, would you accompany me, please?"

"To where?"

Grissom looked to his mother while speaking.

"It's a surprise."

"Oh, another surprise", Sara sung while giggling.

Satisfying his mother's wishes, Grissom escorted Sara to the back porch, opened the door and allowed her to move past him. Daisy and Guardian merely watched, whining in place, until Grissom spoke in an authoritative tone.

Come on you two!

The dogs appeared to have understood, pacing hurriedly past Grissom and out the door.


	20. Consummated

**Hey y'all!! As always, I appreciate the feedback/criticism/etc...I'm still hammering out an ending to this. But be patient...**

**Again, I don't own any of this stuff!!**

**The Lake**

Grissom watched as Daisy and Guardian played in an open field. He kept a watchful eye, in preparation of obviating his mother's beloved pets from straying too far. Meanwhile, Sara finished amassing a colorful cluster of wild flowers she had picked during her walk by the lake, when she had a sudden urge to employ her sights on Grissom.

Grissom wasn't extraordinarily handsome, but he wasn't hard to look at either. Nevertheless, Sara was drawn to him; his kindness; his brilliance; humor…

Sara smiled at this thought, then spun around in place, taking in the scenic views which she'd missed since having moved to the seemingly over populated city of Las Vegas.

"It's so beautiful here", Sara commented.

Grissom turned his attention away from the dogs to find Sara spinning round and round in place, her head tilted skyward, inviting the sun beams to warm her face.

"You're beautiful", Grissom uttered.

Sara stopped on a dime. The words were not meant for her to hear, yet somehow she did. Sara approached Grissom, closing the distance between them until Grissom could see into her piercing brown eyes. Without reservation, Sara reached down and stroked his hairy jaw. Her touch left Grissom dizzy with desire. But instead of reciprocating, Grissom pulled back.

"What is it?"

"We should probably get back."

"Why?" Sara said without inflection.

To avoid Sara's questioning eyes, Grissom turned his head toward the direction of the lake, recounting every instance in which he believed his actions resulted in Sara's unhappiness. His eyes narrowed; his own pain visible for Sara to take notice. Undiscouraged, Sara straddle Grissom's lap. She reached out to him, once more running her had through his hair while slowly rocking her hips. Grissom closed his eyes and pressed Sara against his body as tightly as he could. He could feel the waves of excitement overtaking him. A deep groan involuntarily slipped passed Grissom's lips, as he fought to maintain some semblance of composure. _It was too soon, _Grissom silently repeated to himself, over and over, even while his hands were eagerly exploring underneath Sara's blouse. He felt light headed as another, deeper groan was emitted.

"Sara...please listen…listen to me...I don't think this is a good idea", Grissom spoke, sounding himself unconvinced. He continued, his words choppy, and his breathing heavier. "But it **is** one of the better _bad ideas_ you've had in a long time."

For a moment, they both laughed, until the laughter was replaced by the rippling sounds of the lake, and the leaves rustling in the wind.

To have any type of physical contact with Sara, Grissom believed, was the worst decisions he could carry out. But he couldn't help himself, or the feelings he was experiencing. He couldn't control his thoughts; of having nearly lost Sara; of having had to watch her fight through the physical pain and suffering she endured from her life threatening injuries. He felt this was a second chance for the both of them; fate. And he wasn't about to let another opportunity pass...

Grissom swallowed hard. He had wanted her, beyond anything he'd ever wanted in his life. He took hold of Sara, pressed her body against his and rolled her over so that she was lying on her back. They laid together in the tall dense blades of grass, concealed from the world, with Grissom needing, wanting, and then finally having Sara...


	21. Dropplets of Sorrow

**see previous pages for DISCLAIMER.. :-)**

**The Return Home**

It was inevitable. They both knew it. But in all the time they'd spent in the countryside, Grissom and Sara had successfully staved thoughts of their return home. Their ill memories temporarily forgotten were too gruesome, least of all, for Sara to manage – this much, Grissom believed. Yet, in hindsight, he also believed he may have done a disservice to Sara, as he pondered his mistakes one by one: his intimacy with Sara; the decision to whisk her away from the city, and his failure to insure she kept her medical appointments with her assigned resident psychiatrist, as Dr. Wheeler had instructed.

Grissom pulled up into his garage and glanced over at Sara. It was just hours earlier, he thought, Sara was beaming and seemingly undaunted by her future. This was also reflected in her countenance. Yet, unbeknownst to Grissom, Sara was internalizing. She was fearful of revisiting the vivid terror of that fateful night, in that it might cause her to lapse – as her own mother did – and be branded with the stereotypical label of a woman gone mad. She was, unquestionably, afraid of losing her mind.

They exited the vehicle when Grissom spoke, disrupting Sara from her mentation.

"It's going to be okay, Sara." Grissom said, reassuringly.

"I know. I'm just…"

Sara paused. Although she struggled to maintain her composure, the tears quickly swelled in her eyes. She tilted her head, watching the few droplets fall freely under the influence of gravity; it was indicative to how she, herself, felt. The overwhelming sadness consuming Sara was replaced by a nauseous sensation, attributed to the memory of her assault, causing Sara to hurl uncontrollably. Stunned, Grissom attempted to take hold of Sara and provide her with as much comfort as he could, when she flinched.

"Can we go inside?" Sara said, her voice quivering.

Grissom nodded, then ran his fingers across Sara's face to remove the streaks of wetness. He stood before her looking into her eyes. The pain on her face engulfed Grissom. But for the moment, there was nothing he could do. He'd earlier cautioned himself that Sara was expected to experience low periods during her recovery – yet he never realized the impact of witnessing such an episode would have on him….


	22. Insatiable Desires

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS, ENCOURAGING WORDS AND WELL WISHES. I CURRENTLY DON'T HAVE A PERSONAL EMAIL ACCOUNT AS OF YET BECAUSE IT WAS WIPED OUT WHEN MY WEBSITE WENT DOWN. DON'T KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE AVAILABLE, BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY, I'M STILL WORKING ON IT!

ENJOY! BTW: SEE PREVIOUS DISCLAIMER.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although she wasn't ready for sleep, Sara disrobed and went directly to bed. Concerned, Grissom went to her. He climbed onto the bed and came to rest on his stomach, his head tilted, facing Sara. Sara closed her eyes, as Grissom extended a hand to smooth out her hair. His touch was soothing and put her at ease. He proceeded to kiss her on the forehead; then slowly trailed kisses down to her rosy cheeks. Grissom was sympathetic to the pain stricken Sara. He wanted to will her worries away; to make up, in some way, for all of the time lost; time they could have shared together. And more than anything, he wanted to make love to her. His heart was pounding laboriously, the beads of sweat forming along the ridge of his head.

"I want you to listen to me, Sara. I want you to know that everything will be fine. We'll be fine." He glanced at her hoping to illicit a response. "I want you to know that I love you and that I want to be with you; to be apart of your life. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Sara rolled onto her side, looking inquisitively at Grissom, who was longingly staring back at her.

"I love you Sara, and when you're ready…"

Despite this incomplete thought Sara was suddenly aware of what he had told her – that he had proposed marriage to her. Sara propped herself up on one elbow and presented Grissom with barely a smile. She leaned toward him and kissed him on the mouth, setting off within him waves of desire. It was enough to catapult him to when they consummated their love for each other; his mental faculties became shrouded with nothing else. He had forgotten the promise he'd made to himself; he'd forgotten the delicacy with which he wanted to pursue his relationship with Sara, for these thoughts were trampled by the animalistic charges surging throughout his body.

Grissom sunk even lower while removing the covers from Sara's appetizing bare body; he needed her and showered her with kisses, aching for more. And when she didn't resist, his body shivered, his male member throbbing causing him to groan.

He attempted to move slowly, but in his heated passion his movements became fierce. He uttered her name over and over, climbing on top of her. He cleared a path to her damp cavity and drove forcefully into her; speedily; the sensation was more arousing than his inexperienced body was use to. He continued thrusting, and Sara made every effort to keep pace. His kiss was deep and sensuous, driving the excitement out of him and into Sara.


	23. Imaginary Targets

hi folks! i've updated my profile to include websites i'm working on. hope u all visit!

thanks!!

BTW: as usual, i don't own it...

---------------------------

The next morning, Grissom found himself sitting across from Sara. He showed little interest in the meal she'd placed in front of him five minutes ago, which was growing colder by the minute, because he was too busy feasting his eyes on Sara's physical features and reflecting how beautiful a woman she'd become.

Sara's shapely thin figure was usually camouflaged under a loose fitting blouse, or a bulky sweater. She wore little makeup, yet Grissom suspected such societal trappings didn't matter to her. He knew she could excite his senses further, when she wanted to, which wasn't often. But in Grissom's view point such occassions rarely presented itself. One thing was certain - he knew he was undeniably in love.

Grissom's thoughts alternately rambled between his concupiscence and the pancakes and sausages that sat neglected on his plate. The utmost thought running through his head consisted of clearing the table, taking Sara into his arms and resuming where he'd left off the previous evening

"Are you still taking me?" Sara managed with her mouth half full.

Grissom shot her a glance, closed his eyes and raised his head, as if toward the heavens, wondering if someone up there were listening in on his thoughts.

"How apropos," Grissom commented.

He returned his sights on Sara's inquisitive eyes.

"Um, that wasn't the answer I was hoping for," said Sara.

Earlier, Grissom reluctantly agreed to drop Sara off at her apartment, where she insisted he leave her alone for a few hours. She regarded her decision as the first of many steps toward her independence. Grissom, however, felt strongly opposed to Sara's idea, a sentiment he articulated numerous times before finally caving into her wishes.

"Well?" Sara persisted.

Grissom's eyes narrowed.

"I promised you I would," Grissom let out in a subtle whine. Fully aware of his discontent, Sara quickly moved to change the subject.

"So," she began again, "have you any plans of your own?" Her mouth twisted to one side forming a half smile.

"I thought I'd drop by the office – see if I'm still on the payroll," Grissom sung. His remark educed a full smile from Sara that radiated down to his palpitating heart.

Both were nearly ready to leave. Sara was washing dishes when Grissom came up from behind her and tugged at her shirt.

"Come here," he said huskily, at the same time that he pulled her into him. The warmth of her body against his never failed to excite him. Unfortunately for him, there was simply no time for what he had in mind.

"I'll go warm up the car," he managed in an intoned utterance.

Sara acknowledged Grissom with a nod of her head and a swift peck on his lips. Once Sara pulled away, Grissom looked into her mesmerizing brown eyes, raised his hand and ran his forefinger along the ridge of her lip. He stared at her for a long moment before finally moving off and out of sight, but not before whispering three precious words to her.

"I love you," Grissom said. Of course, Sara knew this all along.

Shortly after Grissom left, Sara made her way to the upstairs bedroom to retrieve her jacket. That's when she noticed Grissom's field kit situated in the corner of the room. Sara had missed her routine of being out on assignment, and at the same time she resented having her life disrupted much to the extent it angered her.

The memory of being assaulted loomed in and out of Sara's thoughts daily. And although there was little doubt in her mind there existed safety in numbers – given Grissom's presence – this knowledge didn't help her to feel any less vulnerable.

Sara knelt down in front of the case and slid her thumb beneath the latch. Upon opening it she was surprised at what she saw – a semi-automatic hand gun, which Grissom hadn't worn in public for several years. Sara took hold of the weapon by the grip, drew it toward her and immediately noticed it was heavier than what she was used to. Instinctively, she extended her arm away form her body and began taking aim at imaginary targets, until she caught a glimpse of herself in a nearby mirror.

"Sara?" Grissom yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll be right down," she replied, her eyes remaining fixated on her own image. Sara didn't blink. Nor did she flinch when Grissom called out to her. Her face was expressionless, her mind, numb from the pains and aches that life brought upon her in general. She'd fought hard to regain some semblance of her version of normality. Holding a gun, however, provided in her a sense of security and a level of confidence that affected her favorably. It vanquished her feelings of weakness; it left her unafraid. More importantly, she never wanted to feel afraid again.

In a matter of moments, Sara's thoughts shifted on Grissom. Fearing he might wander upstairs, she quickly tucked the gun in her pants, behind her back, slipped on her jacket and performed a final check in the mirror for protrusions. When she detected none, she hustled out of the room, proceeding down the stairs and out the front door.


	24. Imaginary Targets2

hi folks! i've inserted chpt 23 (again) because i don't believe eveyone is aware that it's ready to view.

btw: i've updated my profile to include websites i'm working on. hope u all visit!

thanks!!

BTW: as usual, i don't own it...

---------------------------

The next morning, Grissom found himself sitting across from Sara. He showed little interest in the meal she'd placed in front of him five minutes ago, which was growing colder by the minute, because he was too busy feasting his eyes on Sara's physical features and reflecting how beautiful a woman she'd become.

Sara's shapely thin figure was usually camouflaged under a loose fitting blouse, or a bulky sweater. She wore little makeup, yet Grissom suspected such societal trappings didn't matter to her. He knew she could excite his senses further, when she wanted to, which wasn't often. But in Grissom's view point such occassions rarely presented itself. One thing was certain - he knew he was undeniably in love.

Grissom's thoughts alternately rambled between his concupiscence and the pancakes and sausages that sat neglected on his plate. The utmost thought running through his head consisted of clearing the table, taking Sara into his arms and resuming where he'd left off the previous evening

"Are you still taking me?" Sara managed with her mouth half full.

Grissom shot her a glance, closed his eyes and raised his head, as if toward the heavens, wondering if someone up there were listening in on his thoughts.

"How apropos," Grissom commented.

He returned his sights on Sara's inquisitive eyes.

"Um, that wasn't the answer I was hoping for," said Sara.

Earlier, Grissom reluctantly agreed to drop Sara off at her apartment, where she insisted he leave her alone for a few hours. She regarded her decision as the first of many steps toward her independence. Grissom, however, felt strongly opposed to Sara's idea, a sentiment he articulated numerous times before finally caving into her wishes.

"Well?" Sara persisted.

Grissom's eyes narrowed.

"I promised you I would," Grissom let out in a subtle whine. Fully aware of his discontent, Sara quickly moved to change the subject.

"So," she began again, "have you any plans of your own?" Her mouth twisted to one side forming a half smile.

"I thought I'd drop by the office – see if I'm still on the payroll," Grissom sung. His remark educed a full smile from Sara that radiated down to his palpitating heart.

Both were nearly ready to leave. Sara was washing dishes when Grissom came up from behind her and tugged at her shirt.

"Come here," he said huskily, at the same time that he pulled her into him. The warmth of her body against his never failed to excite him. Unfortunately for him, there was simply no time for what he had in mind.

"I'll go warm up the car," he managed in an intoned utterance.

Sara acknowledged Grissom with a nod of her head and a swift peck on his lips. Once Sara pulled away, Grissom looked into her mesmerizing brown eyes, raised his hand and ran his forefinger along the ridge of her lip. He stared at her for a long moment before finally moving off and out of sight, but not before whispering three precious words to her.

"I love you," Grissom said. Of course, Sara knew this all along.

Shortly after Grissom left, Sara made her way to the upstairs bedroom to retrieve her jacket. That's when she noticed Grissom's field kit situated in the corner of the room. Sara had missed her routine of being out on assignment, and at the same time she resented having her life disrupted much to the extent it angered her.

The memory of being assaulted loomed in and out of Sara's thoughts daily. And although there was little doubt in her mind there existed safety in numbers – given Grissom's presence – this knowledge didn't help her to feel any less vulnerable.

Sara knelt down in front of the case and slid her thumb beneath the latch. Upon opening it she was surprised at what she saw – a semi-automatic hand gun, which Grissom hadn't worn in public for several years. Sara took hold of the weapon by the grip, drew it toward her and immediately noticed it was heavier than what she was used to. Instinctively, she extended her arm away form her body and began taking aim at imaginary targets, until she caught a glimpse of herself in a nearby mirror.

"Sara?" Grissom yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll be right down," she replied, her eyes remaining fixated on her own image. Sara didn't blink. Nor did she flinch when Grissom called out to her. Her face was expressionless, her mind, numb from the pains and aches that life brought upon her in general. She'd fought hard to regain some semblance of her version of normality. Holding a gun, however, provided in her a sense of security and a level of confidence that affected her favorably. It vanquished her feelings of weakness; it left her unafraid. More importantly, she never wanted to feel afraid again.

In a matter of moments, Sara's thoughts shifted on Grissom. Fearing he might wander upstairs, she quickly tucked the gun in her pants, behind her back, slipped on her jacket and performed a final check in the mirror for protrusions. When she detected none, she hustled out of the room, proceeding down the stairs and out the front door.


	25. Chapter 25

hi gang...i never thought jorja fox would actually leave the CSI series:-(

since this was the case, i decided to finish out the story on this website... some of you may have already noticed that fact from my last chapter post. for those of you totally in the dark, i had attempted to move my story to blogger(dot)com -- but had a change of heart due to my need to pursue something else.

anyways, for those of you that wanted to know when i would post next, my answer is: soon!

i'll be adding the final chapters to this site fairly soon -

as always, thanks for visiting!


End file.
